Oh Boy... It's Been a While...

I was unsuccessful at losing weight before my cruise. I'm not too thrilled with how I look in the pictures, but I had a great time. I gained a little bit on the cruise, but not as much as I did on my last cruise, so that was nice. But since I've been back from the cruise I'm down to about where I was before, and I am ready to hit this weight loss with a vengeance. I'm not quite back to my 2 workouts a day, as Zack is now waking up earlier and refusing to take naps, so my options for a strict workout time during the day are limited. But I want to figure it out and get it going again. I remember I was feeling so good when I was that dedicated, and I want that feeling back. I want the feeling back, and I want the pounds to come off. I have a lot of reasons for wanting this, and I just need to keep those in mind as I work towards my goal. I've done it before. Now I just need to do it again!

New Scale, New Weight, New Commitment.

Getting my new scale actually gave me a little motivation to get back going. I now know a weight that I'm working with. Yes, I gained in this time off, so I feel like I'm in a bit of a slump. My goal of losing weight for my cruise feels useless, my goal of losing weight before having more kids feels useless, and I am just feeling a bit hopeless about my weight. Hopefully once I get myself back to exercising more like I was I'll feel better about it and be as positive as I have been.

Back on the Wagon

I haven't had a scale for the past 2 weeks. It's probably a good thing too because I have not been doing so great. I was sick all last week so I didn't work out hardly at all. Because of that I feel as though I fell back in to just eating what I want and doing what I want. I'm worried I've gained everything I lost back. But I decided last night that if that is the case, I need to "get back on the wagon" and keep pushing hard like I was before. The 2-3 weeks where I really was pushing it I felt great! I was happy and proud of myself. Now I feel like I'm back down to just plain chubby me. I don't want chubby me, I want a skinny and healthy me! I haven't ran yet since I was sick, but I did work out an hour both yesterday and Monday. I'm coming back.... And ordering a new scale! Knowing that I can weigh myself in was giving me motivation. I need my scale back! Ooooo I really want to get back on track, and I hope I can. I want to be happy again.

Shame On Me

I should just be finishing up week 3 and getting ready to weigh in tomorrow. However, my scale is broken and I don't dare trust it with an accurate reading. Plus, on Friday and Saturday, I didn't do so well on my eating. I had a Bacon Cheeseburger on Friday night and 2 slices of pizza on Saturday night. And to make it worse, I didn't make the time to work out. I could make up all the excuses that I want, but the fact remains that it is my fault. The worst of it hits me when I realize how disappointed my husband is in my slip up. He has been such a HUGE motivation to me the past few weeks with how hard I've been pushing myself. But to hear that he is disappointed and doesn't know if he can motivate me as much because he doesn't know how much I want it anymore is so hard. When I run and I feel like I just can't do it another 15 minutes, I think of Clayton and how proud he would be of me if I could tell him that I pushed myself harder. Shame on me for letting him down. It got me really down for a couple days, wondering if I really CAN do this. But I realized that I never would be able to if I didn't change my attitude and live by standard principles I have. "It's ok to make mistakes, just as long as we learn from them" has been one of these for me for quite some time. If I can't learn from this mistake of eating unhealthy and get back on, then I will never have success. It's ok to slip up. I need to try my best not to, I know. But if I do, I need to get up the strength to get back up and push harder and make up for my mistake. And so, today I did that. I did a 1 hour kickboxing workout, and plan on running when Clayton can be home to watch Zack. I need to get back in this and not quit!

Week 2 Complete

I have been so excited to jump on the scale to determine how my efforts paid off this week. After the scale went haywire after a few tries, I finally determined that I lost 1 lb. Just one. I was hoping for at least 2, and that 2nd week blues got to me. I worked SO HARD to MAYBE have lost 1 lb? But then I remembered that 90% of weight loss is your attitude. So after pep-talking myself through the morning, I jumped on the treadmill for a 45 minute run. That 1 lb. is at least SOMETHING, and it's just my body fighting back saying, "Is she really going to keep this up?" If I keep it up this week and push just as hard, or even harder, I will see a bigger number gone next week, I know it! I just can't let that get be down because it isn't what I wanted. I need to show my body that I am serious about this and it needs to start burning off that fat PRONTO! So I am determined to keep my hopes high and my attitude positive and work hard for a great number this week.

Thoughts During Week 2

I've really been trying to have a positive outlook this week. I watched the premier of this season of "The Biggest Loser" and it motivated me to say that I never want to get that far; that I want to lose weight now and be healthy now so that I don't get older and find I've thrown away my life for food and weight gain. I got really pumped and have been working really hard this week.
Yesterday, Thursday, I went out to eat with my mom and sister. I tried to order healthy, but let's just say, I could have done better. I came home feeling super guilty about it. So determined for a 2 hour workout, I began a run that ended up only lasting 1/2 hour because my shins began to hurt so bad from my run. Then I did a arm muscle workout for only 25 minutes. I was very disappointed in myself and that I let pain stop me. But as I promised myself at the beginning of this process, I would think of a positive in every situation, no matter my discouragement. So I praised myself for putting in an hours worth of exercise yesterday, and that today would be a lot better with my eating today and ice my shins so that I could put in a lot of hard work today. I am very proud of myself for being able to turn my discouragement into a positive situation, and for still being motivated to keep working at it. I am not going to give up. I WILL do it this time, and I am thrilled at thinking about what will come of my efforts and the lifestyle I'm creating.

SUCCESS #1

My goal is to post here each week after I weigh in (Tuesdays) and report my successes along the way, with maybe a few posts between depending on how I feel! I am happy to report that I had my first success moment this morning! My mini-goals have been to lose at least 3 lbs. a week. I was hoping so badly that I would get at least that. I have worked so hard this week, and have been very conscious of what I eat. I went to a New Years party and, although I treated myself to some snacks, I did a lot better than I normally would have and was very proud of myself considering the holiday. I've been working out for at least an hour everyday, watching my portions, and I just hoped desperately that it would pay off somehow. And that it did! My grand total of weight loss this week was 9 lbs! 9 LBS!!! I was ecstatic! Boy did it really pay off for me this week and I am thrilled! I am so proud of myself. Last night I did an hour run, where at the beginning of the week I could barely make myself pull 20 minutes. I deserve that 9 lbs, and it was definitely A LOT more than I was anticipating!
I am very in to the show "The Biggest Loser," (hence, why I weigh in on Tuesdays!) :) I look at my first week of working hard and getting a big number just like the contestants on that show! But now as I go into my second week, I think of THEIR second weeks on the show. Their numbers are always so low! I could easily see myself getting discouraged with that. But knowing that that is a possibility that I TOO may see a low number this week may help me. I am motivated to push forward and to work hard because I know I am having success. I need to continue to push myself hard, and if I get at least 3 this week, then I will have at least met my weekly goal. I know I can't pull a 9 every week. And I know my body may try to fight back this week because it doesn't know if I'm going to stick to this plan. I AM going to fight back HARD this week, and hope that my body understands my mind enough to know what I want, and to pull a 3. That is where I need to keep my mind this week. Push harder than last week to get at least a 3. And if I am as pleasantly surprised next week as I was this week, then so be it! :) I am going to do it this time, and this is the week to let my body know that! So LET'S GET IT ON!